Book Review: Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982

Kim Jiyoung lives in a world where nothing changes. Sure, everyone says things have changed, but the little injustices are still there – implicit biases that have their hooks too deep for mere laws to change – and they still hurt. Jiyoung is dying from a thousand cuts. With every step she tries to take the is harangued, assumed upon, ignored, subjected to double standards, and overwhelmingly encouraged to just accept things the way they are.

Kim Jiyoung knows that South Korea knows sexism exists, and has had legislation preventing discrimination on the basis of gender since 2001. It even has a dedicated Ministry of Gender Equality, so why do 44% of recruiting managers say they would rather hire males over females with equivalent qualifications?¹ Why does Jiyoung feel so much pressure from other women to have a (male) child? To leave the job she loves to take care of her kid? To cook and clean for her husband? Does she have any control, or is every choice she makes just the product of everyone else’s expectations?

There were a few examples of institutionalized sexism (particularly around maternity leave) that I thought Canadian labour/discrimination laws already go a long way towards preventing. I also think our cultural expectations of women are a little more progressive than those in the book (but far from perfect). For instance, I think that most people in western nations are likely to equally cherish their sons and daughters and not feel pressured to have a child of a particular gender.² All of this is not to say that there weren’t salient points in the book. In particular, I thought the book did an excellent job pointing out sexist expectations around childcare and household duties – I see now that “helping out” with chores implies that they rightfully belong to someone else.

This book conveyed its point in an odd way. It’s written incredibly matter-of-factly, from the point of view of a male psychiatrist assessing Kim Jiyoung after a mental breakdown caused by her thousand-and-first cut. You are faced over-and-over again with these situations of insane expectations/sexism that should be very emotional, yet the emotionless writing lulls you into a sense of uneasy normalcy. The Author spends as much time on Jiyoung eating seafood pancakes as she does describing how Jiyoung deals with being called a “mom-roach” leeching off her husbands paycheque. The contrast of the emotion-less with the emotion-full isn’t the result of lazy writing, but is actually a clever juxtaposition that highlights how excellently humans are able to normalize things that are anything but.

That’s just the way it is.

It’s just practical

We’re only human

Normalcy can be an insidious trap, and I think that this is where Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982 was… born? Through its banal portrayal of the horrendous amount of injustices that Jiyoung is constantly forced to accept, the book shows you that “being human” shouldn’t be an excuse to accept things the way they are, but should rather be a call-to-arms for our empathy and capacity to change.

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^{1. All stats taken directly from those cited by the book}

^{2. I am a white man, and wouldn’t presume to know this for a fact!}